Thursday, October 1, 2015

Can I Be Truly Brave...Alone?

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This weekend there is an Edcamp in the area I am thinking of joining. I am really nervous. I don't know the area and I know no one that is going. It is very scary for me to try new things and do things by myself. Remember...I love my world in my box. It is so comfy and pretty here.

But then I remind myself of my word of the year and contemplate on my previous words.THIS could be the opportunity I need to "live" (2015) and be "brave" (2014) and try something totally outside my comfort zone. It is so far outside, I don't even see my box.

So how do you overcome your personal obstacles? My go to was to have someone go with me. Unfortunately my people I would invite have previous engagements. Dang it! So now I am at the precipice of a decision: Suck it up and go by myself or ditch it and not go at all.

I have found out my mom had a hard time making decisions and so did the rest of her side of the family. Kinda biting me in the hind end to see I am following her footsteps with this one! Why can't I be the type of person that will just go for it. Not look at the details, especially anything bad that could happen, and just do it.

One reason I am writing about this is I am hoping to get my fears outside of my head. I could analyze it to death and still not have a decision. I have an anxiety about doing things alone. I mean, I can go shopping on my own but don't like to go to movies or eat in restaurants alone.

The second reason is maybe there is someone out there similar to me. I know there is more out there who have the same feelings and anxiety. It is scary to overcome it, but I am wanting to learn more and expand my knowledge base. I have never heard of this Edcamp so it is reasonable that I am nervous.

But what if...what if this is something I will get so much beneficial information and make contacts and connections that will help in the future? How do you know you are making the right choice?  It comes down to faith and courage. I just have to have the faith this is for me to do because I saw it and something in me sparked to life. I have to have courage to get outside my box and try something that interests me. What do I have to lose by trying? I could sit by the sidelines and everything will be status quo or I could dip my toe into the experience pool and come out on the other side better for the experience...no matter what that experience is.

You know, LT is adventuresome and I like to think I am too. But if I truly believe I am adventurous, why am I holding back on this opportunity?

In my head, I hear myself say...pull up your big girl panties and deal with it. So this is me, living my life and doing something that is interesting to me and for only me. This is me being brave and doing it on my own with no hand holding (unless I find someone to come along!)

Take a deep breath and step over the edge of the box and explore!