To Elope or Not to Elope? That is the Question

I have been thinking hard on what to do about this wedding thing. No we still do not have a date (and I am some what ok with it) This will not be either of our first marriages so things are more relaxed and accepting.

My question is…do I really need the dress, church (think small, intimate and inexpensive) and reception (where I can show off said dress and have all of our friends to celebrate) OR do we need to go and do the deed ourselves, just the two of us?

I have broken down the pros and cons of each.


wedding dress
party atmosphere

reception venue have with requirements
having trouble finding inexpensive venues
have to diy decorate
money spent on dress, venues, and all fix in's


already be on honeymoon (destination wedding)
get married in Redwood Forest
second wedding and don't need the fuss

no family/friends
no dress (hard to travel with on plane)
must plan on internet and site unseen
can do reception later ($ and no dress)

Going over the pros and cons, seeing them written out, makes me long for family and friends to help us celebrate. When I look at photos of elopements, people are in their regular clothes (albeit nice dresses/suits). It just seems sad somehow. I don't know. Maybe because it will be so far away from family.

On the flip side, I am not looking forward to putting a lot of money into it. We don't need the big blow out. We won't be serving a dinner (who's idea was that anyway?)  I am struggling to find a place locally to have the reception. I do not want people to have to drive to far. Some are coming from out of town.

Here is the deal. I look at it like someone going to the wedding, not as a bride. I would want the wedding to be short and sweet, not a lot of time in between the wedding and reception waiting on the bride and groom to show up. If I am out of town, I do not want to have to splurge for a hotel so I may need to leave early (not have an all day/night affair).

Reading this makes me think I am leaning towards a local, intimate wedding if all the stars align. I did tell LT if he wants Justice of the Peace, we will be getting married next month…no sense putting it off if we are doing a baby big to-do.

So I am asking you…what are your thoughts, suggestions, ideas. My head and heart are spinning outta control on this issue.

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