Thursday, June 25, 2015

Happy Belated Anniversary to LT and I

Oh my gosh! I can't believe I totally forgot my anniversary with LT! (He did too)

It was 5 years ago on June 18 that we went out on that first date. Join me on our journey.

Our first vacation together in Houston
Let me set the stage: I was previously married for 6 years and they were up and down. Mostly down because we lived in Georgia were his parents moved and it just wasn't joyful to be with them. We moved back to Kansas for a year and then, unbeknownst to me, he left and went back to Georgia. While it was painful and hurtful, especially when I felt I was blindsided, I picked up myself and just kept moving forward. I did not know why this happened: no explanation, no blame. Of course he thought I would follow him. Little did he know me! After two years we finalized our divorce. So I was pretty sour on relationships, men and all that stuff. I just focused on school and getting a degree.

I moved to Texas to finish my school and did date. But what I did was I dated only during the summer and cut it off before school started. I never invested and I was the one who always ended the relationship. I didn't want it to happen to me again so I controlled it. It was like that for years…10+ years in fact. I also didn't really go out with long term guys. It was more of I just need someone disposable if you will.

I dated this one guy and it was going ok. We decided to take a vacay to San Antonio. Prior to our trip, I had let him know he was getting too clingy and needy and to back it down. His and my definition of backing off were not the same. Needless to say we take our trip and on the last day I told him I just couldn't keep seeing him. I suck, I know. But I just had to do it. I couldn't take another second! It was an awkward car ride back for sure.

Then I started to "actively" look. It took a while and not many princes were out there. Most were jokers. Then I just was like "screw it. I am done." But like many, I was back out there a few weeks later and then I meet HIM. I am such a screwball. When he asked for my number I said "what the heck, let's see where this goes." I invested myself, didn't I? LOL. Our first date was out to dinner then to The Londoner for darts and a beer. I figured out he was a keeper after our second date at the zoo, outside, in 100+ degree Texas weather. Yes, I sweat like a pig about to be butchered. It didn't bother him, so I thought "this is it!". LOL

5 years later, I have a pretty sparkly on my finger and a fiancé in my life who is amazing. It took a lotta crap to wade through to find him. I wouldn't trade him in for anyone else. I love his sense of humor (I am rarely mad at him because he always makes me laugh out my mad), the way he takes care of us (except when I am driving but we are working on it), his love of my parents and joy of listening to dad's endless stories that I have heard literally a million times, and his acceptance of who I am but is encouraging.

I do not know when we will get married. I am ready for that next step because I want it out of the way and for medical reasons (his job being a firefighter for one thing). What I realized was this pretty little sparkly has not changed us and how we act with each other and who we are. I think that was a concern. We both have baggage that we are trying to overcome and it does sneak in and cause little issues, but we do work through them. I have found in our trials together what the term cleaving to one another really means.

If you are out there thinking there is no one for you, or why does some people of quality way less than yours finds a guy but you haven't, don't give up. God has a plan for you. I am not stating this lightly. I truly believe God has a plan and it will be unveiled as we go along. I hate some of the things I have had to experience (my mom's passing) but looking on the positive side, I can see a blessing in it…after the fact.

I know I gave you more than you wanted to read, but I just felt I needed to get it out. Maybe I am working through some crap, I don't know. But I appreciate you hanging in there and following along. Good things are going to happen in your life. Always look for the positive, always give thanks to God (for the good and the bad), and always tell yourself you got this because you really do. It just may take a little longer than you wanted.

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