Just Not Feeling It

The title says it all.

Last week was a huge emotional roller coaster of emotions that I am still riding on today and am struggling to overcome and accept. With that said, feeding the blog is not on top of my list.

First,  LT and I were enjoy ourselves and went out to see Ralphie May in concert at the Improv in Addison, TX. Great night, lots and lots of laughs, even got our picture with Ralphie!

One of the rare times Lt actually and willingly smiled for the camera!
Enjoy it because it won't happen again for a long time.
I also learned a new terminology that I will be using and have to share. It is hilarious and apropos. Here it is: When a women is on her monthly, it shall now be referred to as "shark week". I just hope everyone can survive shark week! LOL

That next morning we awoke to news a family member unexpectedly passed away. No one knew she was sick because she kept it all hidden. So, of course, we are all shell shocked and trying to figure it all out. If you remember, LT's mom passed away in March, so this has hit a little close to home for us.

You see what I mean by a roller coaster? We were climbing high enjoying the scenery and then whoosh, we sail downward at a fast breakneck pace not knowing when or where the loops and curves were coming. And let me tell you they were coming!

I applied for a position in administration. I am totally qualified and have been working in that area for over 5 years. Had a great interview and I like to think I impressed them with my knowledge. I have a great support system boosting me up. Then I heard who else I was up against and I knew it was all over for me. And I was right. She, who has zero experience in that area or even in high school education for that matter, gets the position. Good ole' boy system at it's finest. Still trying to deal with this and so far, I am beating myself up pretty bad. I can't even write about it. Maybe in the next couple of days, I will be ready to put fingers to keyboards and vomit my feelings. But right now it is buttoned up like Fort Knox with only anger getting out.

That night, I had high school graduation in which I cried like a momma when my students walked the stage. Maybe some of my crying that night was about the family death and losing a chance for advancement coupled with pride and sadness of my kiddos.

All I know is in 2 days, my life became the biggest, fastest, scariest, and sickest roller coaster ride out there. Heck compared to my last week, Six Flags has only kiddie rides! I don't' know how I will get through it, but I know I will. Lt and I may come out of it a little bit stronger, but a lot of wear and tear. I am beaten up pretty bad both emotionally and mentally. It is going to be a battle to wade through the mire of my psyche and come out on the other side stronger, but it must be done. And as Lt always says…we got this. (Even if it will take me a while to get there)



Popular Posts